I did not feel like putting her down, so I started sending healing energies to the squirrel. I prayed for her recovery if it was meant to be. And if she had to pass on, then I prayed that it happen smoothly. It was nearly 10 mins that I was holding the squirrel, giving her healing energies. And whenever I spoke to her, she would respond with a squeak. It was very touching to see the animal respond to love. I felt love overflowing from my heart to this little creature.
After a while she closed her eyes. It seemed as if she had passed on. I checked for the heartbeat by gently placing my thumb against her entire chest. There was no flutter. I spoke to her, called out to her. She didn't respond anymore. I put her in a corner and I knew the birds above would feast on her. I knew it was nature’s way of eliminating dead organic matter. I was glad I didn't leave her there earlier as I knew the birds would have preyed on her even as she was alive. I was glad I could give her love in her last moments and help her have a painless death.
I felt peaceful. I decided to write about this. I repented not having taken a picture of her. At that moment, I was too engrossed with the entire experience of connecting to nature and receiving a response from her. I took my bus home and on the way thought about it. I felt good. I believed that was unconditional love. I always knew I was an animal lover.
Just before this expansive feeling could inflate my ego, a question popped in my mind. “Would I have picked up the animal if it was a dying rat?” Even the thought of it sent a shudder through my spine. I knew I would have walked away. I felt ashamed to admit that to myself. But that was the truth. I saw the squirrel as a cute little creature that eats nuts and fruits. So I could easily get myself to pick her up and hold her with love. A rat would have been out of question. Then I asked myself, “Can I then really call myself an animal lover? Did I really express unconditional love?”
Perhaps I could call myself a “pet-lover”. But to say I am an animal lover is a blatant lie.
(This article is written by Dr. Sushmita Gowri and originally posted on her blog)